The Good, The Bad, and the Uuuuugly

Hey all,

It felt great to be back. I used to work in business before I became a school counselor, and I never once had the feeling of excitement and anticipation of going to work, except perhaps while I was in training with other co-workers internationally who were part of the company's many accelerated progams.

To get back to the point: it feels great to be excited about work. I believe a person is most happy when their work most closely parallels their values.

To step back from being a Polyanna, there are still those days...and parts of days...where I have to take pause and remind myself why I'm in this profession. I see a lot of people who are so caught up in their own stories, that they do not, and cannot at that time, see or understand another person's views. One parent told me it was "unacceptable" that her child did not get Drawing and that it was not something the parents expect would be changed. I explained, in general, the process of requesting a class, the impact of the override, and how class conflicts are scheduled. And the fact that just because a student requests a class, does not mean they actually get it. I also mentioned how lucky these students were that they have almost 20 Visual Arts classes, 6 Performing Arts, and 6 Music Arts classes to choose from. Not to mention the myriad ensembles, a cappella groups, and other performance groups. When is too much choice, too much?

Doesn't matter. I am realizing more and more that when I am yelled at or vented to, I do best when I stick to restating the facts, hope the other party "gets it", and not get emotionally caught up in the drama. It is much healthier to approach a conversation (or in these instances, conflicts) in this manner. I did in the end try to appease her stress and that was a big mistake. In this community, I see a lot of interactions where parents are in high profile positions. These positions are typically set up where the top person delegates to their subordinates all the tasks (and associated stresses) of getting the job done. They get paid to make the strategic decision, and they pay their subordinates to carry it out.

I see a lot of these same parents approaching their relationship with the school in the same manner. The teachers and counselors are here to service their child. To remove conflicts. To "make" impossible situations (e.g. aforementioned scheduling issue) somehow possible. I am not seen as an equal nor as the professional I am. The fact that I carry with me the experience of working with over 200 students and their families every year is discounted. The fact that I know the scheduling software and scenarios inside out is underrated. The fact that I have gone to court for families, worked with attorneys in divorce and child abuse investigations, help children who drink, do drugs, attempt suicide, cut, are bullied, bully others, are beaten, beat others, are incarcerated, are just trying to survive, enjoy highschool, and find their passion, is irrelevant. Parents will hire a college counselor or psychotherapist to tell them what they want, then turn around and tell me/the school that we should listen to the specialist because we have it all wrong. What sense does it make to trust someone who has never or barely met your child over someone who works with your child every day? What happened to collaboration, is what I want to know!